Round 2

Believe it or not, a short journey from Green Park to Swiss Cottage on the Jubilee line is what made me want to start blogging again... After a quiet five hour shift at work, I quickly made my way back home to fill my belly but was distracted for a short while from my minor problems of hunger and fatigue by the people around me. After I quickly scrambled on the train and claimed my seat I found myself across from a black man reading the newspaper. Everyday happenings right? Well, not particularly... 

The young man was wearing torn clothing, a pair of leather gloves and had skin so dry he could be mistaken for mix raced. He was hunched over, with the paper only millimetres away from his face. With every turn of the page, he felt the need to apply more than tenfold of the amount of saliva needed on his fingers. This took my attention away from the pentium 4 PC that he had clutched between his feet firmer than a vice holding a piece of wood as you hack away at it. After a few seconds of starring mindlessly at the computer, I realised that the train had stopped and looked up to see where I was, only to be startled by a loud noise. The man I was starring at just managed to sneeze all over two nearby passengers, and instead of apologising he just gave them a cold, hard stare, wiped the snot from his nose, wiped it onto the seat next to him and continued to read his paper. To any black people reading my blog, no offence, but this guy was just a little extra hair and banana away from being the offspring of two very smart apes. 

The two male passengers just gave him a look of disgust and stayed quiet. After a couple of awkward moments they resumed conversation with the sentence, "So have you ever done it with a male?" to which the other passenger replied "Yeah it's all good as long as you don't touch the package." Confused about the subject of their conversation, I just starred down at my feet and waited for my stop.

After arriving at Swiss Cottage, off the train I went, up the the stairs I climbed, and tapped the oyster reader. Thinking about the previous happenings while exiting the station, I stopped to allow someone a chance to climb the stairs. It took him about two minutes to climb twenty-five steps, but this wasn't due to him being slow or fat, he was on crutches with only one leg. I would have offered him a hand - or a leg - but if I was in that situation, I'd feel that it was an offer made from pity.

So you all may be thinking, "why was this enough to make you want to write a blog post?" It's simple. It just made me appreciate my life. I not only fit into social norms of contemporary life, I am also very lucky to have had no unfortunate happenings in my life. I am blessed. All I had to worry about today was arriving to work on time and rationing the remaining cigarettes I had to carry me through the day. I hope you can all see where I'm coming from and try to recognise how you're all lucky to be what is deemed 'normal'.

Carpe diem.

Entering the world of work.

What's up everyone.

Today I decided to write about the place I work. Pomona Foods in Belsize Park is that place.

The job came to me quite luckily actually... My mate Markie works there, and I went to drop off his iPod while he was at work because he left it at my house. I went in, said hello, gave him his iPod and off I went. His manager later called him downstairs after seeing me on CCTV and asked him "Who was that black guy?" Markie replied, "One of my friends, he let me stay round his last night, he only lives a short walk away." Amazed by either my height or the fact that I actually gave Markie's iPod back and not steal it, he replied "Tell him to come in, I may have some work for him..." A few days past and bang, it was a 5.30 am on a Monday morning and I found myself making my way to my first day of work, with the last N5 of the previous night passing me. I'm working a 6am-2pm shift which comes with its benefits and disadvantages.

I quite like the job... It's just a tad too early. I work with a couple of nice girls, my manager Martin and his best friend. Martin's sister and her husband both work there too, and not to forget Markie.

I wanted people who read this to have some sort of image of what the people I work with look like, so I was thinking about people they resemble.

Martin's sister, Caroline, to me resembles the infamous Salad Fingers. No par intended.

It's not so much the looks, she's just got that really creepy voice with longed out syllables. Can't understand the creepiness due to never hearing Salad Fingers' voice? Fear not, have a quick look at this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA

Caroline's husband, John, is a Mexican metal head. He frequently says 'Mayne' at the end of sentences just like any other wetback, Nice guy though. I find that he kinda looks like Chester Bennington, from Linkin Park with a little hint of Mexican.

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Martin's best friend, Leslie, is South African. He loves to used the word Mate in really awkward and patronising ways. He looks like Lionel Richie, with an awkward nose.

I tried looking for a picture of a nose awkward enough but no luck... Just imagine Pumba nose from the Lion King in human form, and you've got it.

I'm yet to think of who Martin resembles but as soon as I do I promise to inform you all.

So those are some of my co-workers. I've been working there for 6 days now, and I'm enjoying it. I just basically help them get the shop up and running in the mornings as they have new stock pretty much everyday.  The job involves a lot of lifting.. So many boxes have to be moved, but hopefully this will lead to me getting wedge over time. It hasn't been an eventful 6 days, although I did get electrocuted on the second day. One of the tasks they have given me is emptying water out of some trays in the fridges, and they told me to make sure that the fridge was off before I started emptying the trays, which I did, but I still managed to get a big shock... I was there with the tray in my hand getting a couple of hundred volts through my body for a good 3-4 seconds. Two wounds were left on my hand which remain unhealed until this day!

They may look pretty minor, but do remember, that was caused by electricity!

Anyways, here are a few more pictures for you all from work, keep updated and enjoy! :)

Notice the rubbish bins behind the boxes? Those all needed to be moved by me as well as those boxes.. May not look like a lot, but this wasn't even half the moving needed to be done that day.

Some organic porridge I got for my best friend, Sam Conley :)

A load of rubbish needed to be cleared out by yours truly.

My usual lunch, I little fruit salad, a Red Bull and a fag.

The toilet in which I produced my first shit today at work. That's not my shit on the right by the way..

Me looking insecure in the fridge surrounded by more fruit and veg than Somalia, has, or ever had.

The cigarettes I've been smoking while working, from my dad, Fuad. The Arabic translates, "Cigarettes are a good method to kill yourself and allow you to get your 40 virgins quickly. Jihad is even quicker." 

R.I.P Hempshta.

He's had good run, but the time has come. A great member of the Ali family has passed away. Hempshta has severed a massive role in both me and my mate Kiarash Kashefi's (Professional Autistic) lives and it was sad to see him laying on his back just after I'd got him a brand new bag of hamster food. A full funeral service will be held for him tomorrow at Hendon Park and you're all welcome to attend.

Many of you may have had the joy of experiencing all he had to offer, and I hope you have enjoyed the time he spent with us. He's in the big wheel in the sky now, and he's probably partying out with his 40 virgins. Rest in peace my pet.

Even though I don't follow Islam, I like to think that Hempshta prayed to Mecca at least 5 times a day.

R.I.P cutie.

Emotional times.

Blogging?

So where do I begin...
I guess firstly I should say thank you for actually reading this. I actually promise to make it as interesting as possible. It'll hopefully drift away from generic blog themes and keep you guys interested.

Over the past couple of months I've had my fair share of moments that seem to stand out from normal life. Has this been because I am no longer in school and have more free time to waste? Well... A very wise Indian once put his BBM status as, and I quote, "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." and I agree with that quote. Time hasn't been wasted. I feel that my experiences during this time made me a better person, and I wouldn't go back to change any of it.

The past few months have been 'emotional' to say the least. Its been filled with death and deception. Love and laughter. Violence and vandalism. Narcotics and nausea. Trust and tolerance. I could probably go on through the whole alphabet doing this two word alliteration thing to describe how it has been but cba.

The furthest back I can remember is the first of October. I made a promise to myself that I'd stop bunning and try to actually achieve something, but that backfired terribly and just ended up with me spending about 22 of the 31 days in the month choong. While I was just bunning my life away, my grandma's life came to an end (R.I.P), which was pretty much the first big milestone. I also received some rather unfortunate news on the same day which made that day an even bigger mile stone, and also brought the end to something beautiful.

My friendship group started to expand, and I started spending a lot more time with some beautiful people. The great Charles Warburg II, Royie Gispan, Aljosha Nikolic and a selection of some very nice females became some of the people I've learnt to love. I spent about 2 straight weeks with them and fucking hell mate, was it mad. A series of near-fist fights, drunken nights, and men in tights followed. Take a look at a few of the pictures I'm going to upload.

On a less hoodrat note, I actually managed to get a job :) I now work in Pomona Foods in Belsize Park, working with one of my good mates, Markie. I'm a professional fruit and veg stacker. Manual labour eh? But money is money. I've got a few pictures from that to share with you all too.

I don't want to really drag on about past experiences, but all those things made me want to start blogging. You might see a few blog posts and videos pop up soon from all of the happenings.

Keep an eye out for me!
Skadoosh.